Clair Bidez missed the 2010 Winter Olympics and has done nothing too special in the X-Games.
I can snowboard. I've played
1080 Snowboarding on N64. It's basically the same thing right?
Natalie Gulbis
If you're ditching your sport to be on a reality show like Gulbis did when she went on Celebrity Apprentice 2, then no matter what, you probably made the right decision. Her mind couldn't have been in the right place.
Sure, she was sixth overall on the money list, but she only has one win on tour. The strategy has to be to just linger until it's winning time, then make your move.
And did you know she has two brothers named George and Charles Innocent?
Yeah, they're a crime fighting duo whose nemesis is the notorious mobster Louis Guilty.
Jenn Brown
Baseball was my chosen sport, so whenever I see a softball player, I immediately think I have a chance of being better than any of them. Especially one who quit in college and now is a broadcaster.
Think of the rules of softball. You have a smaller field and you can't lead off the base pads. It is essentially little league baseball with a bigger ball. How does anyone ever strike out trying to hit something that big??
Maria Verchenova
I just can't take Verchenova's game seriously when she set the female athlete stereotype back a thousand years when she told Maxim magazine:
“I always like to bring something extra special to the golf course, so if I’m wearing sexier, more stylish stuff like a shorter skirt or a nice tennis-style dress, and if people notice then great.”
All right Maria. While you're making hard decisions like if you should wear a black skirt or a pink one, I am out at the driving range day and night, getting ready to take you on.
Claudia Toth
Claudia Toth's chosen sport is curling. You know, the Olympic sport where you push a large piece of stone and use brooms to put that large piece of stone in a spot?
This is arguably the toughest matchup because of the involvement of a broom. Men are fighting centuries of training that women have had with a broom.
Sophie Horn
You can drone on all you want about your golf accomplishments, Sophie, but until you're on the LPGA tour, I know I can take you.
Just don't talk though. The British accent thing will make me collapse on the green, and no one wants to see something like that.
Victoria Vanucci
The internet tells me Victoria here hurt her back, so she can't play tennis anymore.
Fine, Victoria. I call your bluff. I am totally willing to roll out in a wheelchair and duel you on a tennis court. No more excuses, this is for real.
Wheelchair tennis. I'm surprised that hasn't caught on. Maybe because it would take about as long as a game of Monopoly and would be equally as exciting.
Leryn Franco
Leryn Franco specializes in the javelin throw. She is also a clutch performer.
She set her personal best at the 2007 Pan American Games in Rio de Janeiro, which was good enough to get her last place. Well slap my ass and call me Shirley! That is what I am competing with! The best you can do is last!
Her personal best is 55.38 meters, which is 181.69 feet. If my math is right, and it is because I know I carried the four, then that means she can probably throw a baseball about 43 mph.
The Feres Sisters
he Feres sisters' list of prestigious accomplishments is so vast and endless, it earned them about three sentences on their Wikipedia page.
They were champions in Brazil for both juvenile and adult categories. That is like me proudly telling people I won some championships in the sixth grade.
Ashley Force
I'm not only sure I could beat Ashley Force in a drag race, I am confident I could beat any drag racer at anytime.
Let's review what this "sport" requires.
1) Sit in car
2) Buckle seat belt
3) See green light
4) Push accelerator down
5) Keep car straight
Whew. Number two would really give me some problems, but if I got past that hurdle, I think I have a chance.
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3:56:00 am
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